Thursday, February 5, 2009


I need to know if other people feel this too. Some nights when my eyes are closed and I am trying very hard to go to sleep I get this feeling like my body is spinning. Spinning and rocking at the same time. That sounds absolutely horrible and I can only liken it to the feeling you get when you've had to much to drink. However without the alcohol its this rad super soothing, calming feeling. I have no idea why it happens or how to make it happen. As I laid down last night it happened and I went to a super happy place in my mind. Then one little thought of the evenings events brought me back out into the dark reality. Which brings me to my second question. When it is dark (outside, inside, wherever there is no light) I see all these little tiny colored dots everywhere like snow on a tv set but colored. I think I tried explaining this to someone once and they thought I was crazy but I'm pretty sure it has to be a normal thing. As I get older it is becoming more and more clear that we (people) just aren't as unique as we think we are. Its kind of depressing in a way. Shoots down my theory that the whole world revolves around me. Oh my gosh if my High School history teacher could read that sentence he would fall over and die. We had many arguments about my insignificance and I never wavered. The whole world revolved around me. Now I don't want it to, it's too much pressure. I don't want to be in charge.

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