Sunday, August 23, 2009

Anything you can do, I can do....(better)

I need to get this out of my system.
The System sucks. I think that I could potentially do anything. As in any job. Train me and I can do it. But I can't in the eyes of "The system". I need a degree to be considered competent or qualified. But that's crap too. Qualified? Ask any college graduate if they feel qualified after they graduate. Or if they retained any of what they just learned. Most will say no. Pdog and Jackie both laughed when I told them I was worried because I could not remember the CCNA stuff I had just learned. Apparently thats completely normal. So if no one retains what they learn and everyone learns on the job then why do I need a piece of paper so that I too can learn on the job. Proof that I, like so many others, am in debt because of school. So in order for me to get a good job I have to go into debt to "earn" that job.
Just silly thoughts that were eating me up the other night.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Reality Bites

I went camping this weekend. Yup, me, I went camping. And it was everything i dreaded-dirty, bug filled, what looked like a toilet but no plumbing, nature, allergies, etc. But I also had fun just hanging out by the water and gabbing like bitches with the girls. The boys had fun-both adult and child size. It was butt ass cold the first night but the second was better with patricks and my sleeping bags zipped together I had pdog on one side and digger on the other. They are my personal heaters. I was a little sad to pack up and go. Getting back to reality and chores and checking all the messages that were building up on my phone.
As soon as I got a signal the first message came through-"Where are you we need u"
Shit, it was from a derby girl. I goraned thinking of the derby drama that might have taken place while i was out of range for the weekend. I wish it had been derby drama.
Hannah, Mz. Vindictive, the girl whos always got my back is in the hospital. In serious condition. I dropped off the boys and the gear and headed to St. Marys with a brief stop over to get my car. I needed to get Kermit-he has kept me safe for many years now and i figure he coud do the same for Hannah. She was asleep when I got there and from what I have heard that was a blessing. She cannot talk and gets frustrated when she tries and that leads to crying. I was and have been doing plenty of crying since the call came in from LMT. I put on a brave face in the room but when I saw she was asleep the tears sneaked out. I left when the number of her real family (non derby) increased and realized with a little help from Jays mom (in a totally non rude way) that by visiting Hannah we all were making ourselves feel better but it really wasnt the best thing for her. SO I am sitting at home waiting for news and sendign her all my good ju ju and woosah. Please do the same.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Why is it

That I have good times and fun and always mean to blog about it but i only seem to have motivation when its bad times.
I did have a good weekend. Sunday was awesome. The river was rad, and the company was awesome. I needed that and it was a good "last day for Patrick". He started work today!!! Woohoo!!!
But blogs aren't meant for that. I like sharing the fun times with others. I don't like sharing the bad feelings with others, who wants to listen. Seriously, not like pity party or anything, everyone has their own worries to worry about. Blogs are so I can get it out and move on.
I am tired. Physically but mostly mentally. I should be enjoying the last few weeks of my summer before school starts but instead I am worrying about derby. I shouldn't be worrying about derby. We have tons of skaters, we are looking at warehouses, we have a double header coming up. Things should be great! But they aren't and I don't know what to do about it and I'm exhausted.