Why is it

That I have good times and fun and always mean to blog about it but i only seem to have motivation when its bad times.
I did have a good weekend. Sunday was awesome. The river was rad, and the company was awesome. I needed that and it was a good "last day for Patrick". He started work today!!! Woohoo!!!
But blogs aren't meant for that. I like sharing the fun times with others. I don't like sharing the bad feelings with others, who wants to listen. Seriously, not like pity party or anything, everyone has their own worries to worry about. Blogs are so I can get it out and move on.
I am tired. Physically but mostly mentally. I should be enjoying the last few weeks of my summer before school starts but instead I am worrying about derby. I shouldn't be worrying about derby. We have tons of skaters, we are looking at warehouses, we have a double header coming up. Things should be great! But they aren't and I don't know what to do about it and I'm exhausted.

Uh-Oh

I am getting LAZY. I woke up at 11am today. It wasn't even like I woke up and went back to sleep and re-awoke at 11, I was in deep sleep until 11am! The only productive thing I am doing is laundry otherwise I am still in my jammies. I have done a lil rrg stuff but mostly watching tv and chatting thru messenger.
Ok I couldn't live with my slackerness so mid-post I got up and cleaned both bathrooms, windexed all windows (including the slider), picked up after Dig in the backyard and pulled weeds. I am now sweaty and ready for a shower.
I have started looking for a job. I really don't want to go back to work but I miss having money. On the flip side if I can get FAFSA money and go to UNR then that would be the ideal route but that costs money just to apply! So I need a job or a way out of this Catch 22.
If I do go back to work how the hell will I be able to balance work, derby, and life? I have been doing all things derby constantly since school let out. I am pondering starting a derby journal so one day I can look back and go-oh yeah thats where my mid-life went.....

The song WAS about me

I had a fucking crazy dream last night. I've had similar dreams in the past but it doesn't matter how many times I have them they scare me on a deep emotional level. I dreamed my body was covered in warts. Yeah, gross. I have also dreamed that I have no nose. The dream before this consisted of me having no teeth. WTF. There is always a horrible feeling of dread in my stomach before my brain decides to clue me that its a dream.
It's a horrible moment and even after my brain and my sub-conscious speak I can't get my dream to steer out of that direction.
Wat does this say about me? How vain am I if my fear is that I will be disfigured somehow. I need a dream dictionary cause I know that most of the time the obvious answer is far from the correct one.

Selfish

The 7th Reno Roller Girls bout was last night. I didn't get to skate. I was working the door until half time schmoozing and taking money and hand stamping and wrist-banding with Annibel and Mz. V. I had fun at the door. I like talking to people to learn stats, how they heard about us and what not. It also gives me instant gratification with $ #'s and if we covered our asses. Anyways, come half time I closed up the table and headed into the bout. Thats when things started to suck. There was drama, of course there was drama, there always is drama. But thats not what sucked. The sucketh part was that.....I WASN"T SKATING. Because, well, I am selfish damn it.
Its freaking awesome that we have 4 teams and I am so excited and all the new girls are so great. But right now I am being slefish. I love skating! I get a crazy high from it that I cannot get any where else. I cannot afford cocaine. :(
I am better now. In June I will be awesome. June 27th is the next bout and I, as well as Mz. V and the Wife, will be skating. Yesssssssssssssssssss!

Talking to myself

Talking to my self is a given. I state a question out loud and my brain responds silently.
Q: I wonder if I can get my Nutrition teacher to post the test early
A from my brain: You have enough to do, don't worry about that right now.
A from Patrick: It doesn't matter anyway your going to die.

The problem at hand is we both happen to talk to ourselves. Well in his case he is speaking to opponents in a game. Same difference.
Our worlds collided and the result is my death.

My Night

I spent good quality bonding time with Mz Hannah last night. Unfortunately it was at the ER. We got there about Midnight and at 3:30 they still didn't know what was wrong. I swear that room was a time warp. There was no way we were in that room for 3 and a half hours. If its possible we spent all that time talking about Jack in the Box mini churros. I still want some of those. I wound up going home just before 4 am. I went back and got her today (at 11:30) and she is resting at home now but we still don't know whats wrong with her :( Almost 12 hours and they couldn't figure it out! WTFEBBQ
It felt good to be there for her. We may not be super close friends but I know that girl has always got my back and it was nice to have hers too.
In totally unrelated news I need to start keeping track of Ed's monikers to date we have:
Eduardo
Heed
Hedgar
Edaroo
Head

(Wife! what was yours??)

Yesterday

All my troubles seemed so far away! Now it seems as though they're here to stay...
Yeah so yesterday was awesome! The boy and I went on a fabulous bike ride. We started at my house in Sparks and rode all the way along the river to downtown. I didn't think I could do it. About 1/4 of the way there I vocalized these fears but the boy kept me going. My reward for this great feat??? An awful awful and oh it was so tasty. I can't believe I have lived in Reno for over 10 years and I have never had one before. We took an easier route back; hopped off the trail at Kietzke and followed that to Prater. My reward for going through town back?? A pumpkin marshmallow shake at Scoopers! Oh the tasty goodness that is Scoopers. All in all we rode 16 miles and not having been on a bike in 19 years I think I did pretty damn good. But my ass hurts...a lot. I plan to keep it up at least once a week. As long as this damn snow stops!